I’m A Germ

The flue season of early 2013 has been big news but will be soon forgotten. For now, there are endless warnings of how to avoid germs. The only solution seems to be to avoid people. NBC’s Dr. Nancy Snyderman tells us that we should all stay at least 6 feet apart from each other until April.

Nancy Snyderman

“Get away from me!” warns Dr. Nancy Snyderman.

Fact Alert: Microbiology pioneer, Antonie Philips van Leeuwenhoek, is generally credited with being the first human to see germs using his 17th century microscope.  (He reportedly became romantically involved with several germs.)

Antoine van Leeuwenhoek

Antoine van Leeuwenhoek

But what about germs? They have lives too. And they enjoy a good frolic. And once you get to know them, they’re a lot like we are. They just want a good piece of cheese.

Illustration by Plastic Crimewave

Illustration by Plastic Crimewave

Have a listen to the song below. From the collection, My Mailman Has a Tail.

(copr. R. Bain, 2010)

Yes Man From Yesco

One of the more annoying personalities on the planet is the yes man.

illustration by Plastic Crimewave

This creature lacks imagination and self-respect. Riddled with the fear of what others might think of his ideas—especially the boss—he cowers behind a torrent of “yes-es.” He doesn’t want to rock the boat. And he definitely doesn’t wish to steer the boat. He just wants to remain in the good graces of the captain.

(A creature who is more annoying—even despicable—is the leader who surrounds him or her self with yes-spouting sycophants.)

In the workplace and the marketplace of ideas, a balance must be achieved between the notion that you are always right and the notion that your opinion is not worthy. Many unworthy opinions reach fruition. And many brilliant ideas remain caged within the minds of the timid.

Play this tune for your boss or co-workers. If you are the boss, share it with the board. Make a Powerpoint. If you’re simply bored, play it for thyself.

I’d Love To Be Rich

Wealth is aspirational. For every 1,000,000 who dream of becoming wealthy (hitting the lottery), only a tiny fraction can succeed. After all, how much room can there be at the top? The aspirants tend to overlook this statistic.

I penned “I’d Love To Be Rich” as a spoof from the viewpoint of a regular sap with daydreams of dough. Recorded in Lawrence, Ks. in 1981 or 82. The Geckettes provide the oooh wahh ooohs.