June | 2012 | Rogerdaybain

The Dancing Dairy Products at Sunflower Cablevision

The Dancing Dairy Products stepped their way into the hearts of many Eastern Kansans’ during the early 80s. They performed as part of the Barking Gecko entourage. Full disclosure: I married the cheese. (These photos by Jim Jewel.)

In performance, three dietary perspectives were presented by the Dairy MC. (No footage exists.) Here is the complete “rap” from memory:

The Meat Eater

I like to fry

Big hunks of meat

Pop ‘em in my mouth and chew

If I can’t find a sow I’ll settle for a cow

Or maybe a sheep or two

Bacon grease

Such sweet release

I love to eat ribs till I’m blue

Love to eat ribs till I’m blue

The Vegetarian:

I chew grapes

And drink pomegranate juice

I eat sprouts, lentils and mung

I’ll finish my kelp

Without any help

Wheat germ and oats keep me young

Vitamin D, so good for the knee

The heart the eyes and the lung

The soul the snout and the tongue

The Voice of Reason

But wait a minute!

Along with your meat

You just have to eat

Vegetables each day

Zucchini and steak

And bread that you bake

And don’t forget your dairy products

Don’t forget your dairy products…

Please please don’t forget your cheese

Hey that’s what I said

Smooth as silk they call it milk

a little bit of razzamatazz

After the show

The act broke up when the cheese took a teaching job. The DDP may have curdled into the sunset but this should not spoil it for true believers.

In the 70s, nothing was more anti-bohemian than the polyester leisure suit. It stood for all that was crass and square in modern, clueless, adult pop culture— disco style replacing freakwear.

Leisure suits are now considered costumes but in 1978 they were worn in a serious way. Fashion ugliness had reached a zenith. By about 1980 they had lost their luster.

In 1980, when the barking Geckos were re-forming, I put a classified ad in the Lawrence Daily Journal World asking for the donation of unwanted leisure suits, needed as a performance prop for a song of mine, Leisure Suit. Two women answered the ad. I obtained one exceedingly bright yellow number and one of a dull shade of green. Could not locate the Holy Grail color: lime green, the suit mentioned in the song. Dull, colorless green would have to do.

Button detail.

My son borrowed the bright yellow suit for his culturally upending dance performance with S. Hack at the South Junior High Variet Show circa 1996 or 97.

Here’s the only recorded version of the song from 1980 Barking Gecko performance at The Lawrence Opera House.