Slumped Over

In 1969 I was captivated by Captain Beefheart’s release, Trout Mask Replica. It was distinctly un-pop, to put it mildly. It borrowed mainly from the blues and modern art but because the Captain’s ensemble, the Magic Band, was composed of long-haired, white-ish, hippie types, the album was categorized as rock. The Captain was doing for rock what Eric Satie had done for classical music—thumbing his nose at convention.

Trout Mask Replica

Trout Mask Replica

About a year later I would get my first guitar and begin to use it as my primary instrument in the lifelong pursuit of art, observation and catharsis.  After I had mastered some chords, I graduated to a study of the early country blues practitioners—Blind Lemon Jefferson, blindlemonjeffRobert Johnson, Mississippi John Hurt, Skip James, Blind Blake—and their singular picking techniques and sometimes obscure lyrical explorations. This led me to create my own guitar and songwriting style. Because we are all the sum of that which has made an impression upon us, I also had Dr. Seuss, first read to me by my mother, lurking in my thought waves. Kids are often exposed to radical thinking and I hope that never changes.


So about 1974 I combined all of the above and created the song, Slumped Over. Upon reflection, it is a nursery rhyme for psychedelic adults. It is a 4-act play for existential absurdists. I played Slumped Over several times with an early manifestation of the Barking Geckos, including a performance at the National Surrealist Party’s 1976 convention at Off The Wall Hall in Lawrence, Kansas.

Barking Geckos at 1976 National Surrealist Party Convention

Barking Geckos at 1976 National Surrealist Party Convention

I collaborated with Mitch Rosenow on a now lost recording of the tune in the living room of Mitch’s flat on Vermont Street in Lawrence. I recall that the recording featured slammed doors, thrown boxes of junk and lots of reverb.

Then, in 1982, I directed opera tenor John G. Andrews in a Slumped Over music video, shot mainly in the dingy basement bar of the Lawrence Opera House. John sang the song to the live accompaniment of my off-camera guitar and Dana Elniff’s saxophone while Gerry Cullen’s clunky video camera recorded the grainy shenanigans.

Finally, last August (or September?) I again recorded the song in my basement—what’s this thing with basements?—but this time with engineer, Chuck Kawal, placing the mics and twiddling the dials. Steve Eisen contributed a sax part and Chuck, after overcoming his exasperation at the melodic structure of the tune, played a guitar solo in the break. I played my guitar arrangement on both acoustic and electric and added some quite necessary kazoo parts. The song was finally getting a worthy sonic treatment. Chuck completed the mix just last week and it is now available for your listening pleasure. 40 Years in the making:

1950s Trio

Here are songs about three disparate personalities from the 1950s. Sports, politics and rock & roll.

1n 1953, Ernie Banks left the Kansas City Monarchs in the Negro League and joined the Chicago Cubs as a free agent, where he would spend his entire 19 year career, winning back-to-back National League MVP awards in 1958/59 and hitting 512 career homers, all to left field. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1977. Thanks Mister Banks!  erniecard1


A few months prior to 1950, Mao Tse-tung routed Chiang Kai-shek—America’s preferred despot— and became Chairman of the People’s Republic of China for the entire decade (1949-59). Mao dictated his people with little thought to their own welfare. He was bent on consolidating his own power and leading China to world prominence.  50 million Chinese died when he traded the country’s rice crop for weaponry. How many people did you kill today, Chairman Mao?

chairman mao


In 1956 Elvis Presley jumped onto the national stage from his humble, blue collar, blues and gospel inspired life in Tupelo, Mississippi. As he swiveled his hips, American culture entered the Rock & Roll era. Elvis was anointed the King of Rock ‘n Roll. When he died for the sins of rock & roll in 1977, his body rose and went to R & R Heaven, where he still gives the occasional concert. Performance by Under The Kitchen.


Where previously our gaze may have been out the window or across the alley or at a newspaper or book or scroll, it is now fixed upon a screen. Not all of the time, of course, but very frequently. I hope this turns out to be a good thing.

Television has been a gateway to our new path. It entranced us.

Early television

Early television

Then along came communication satellites….


…which opened the door for cable TV.

In the year I was born, few citizens could have envisioned computers, the web, smartphones or twitter. But those born during the past 30 years could not imagine life without these little screens.


Youth enjoying the company of others.

Imagination has changed. The pathway to personal identity has changed. The way we interact with life has changed. The use of the word “friend” has changed.

I hope this is a good thing, don’t you?

burkha staring

Even though you can’t see my face, what’s happening on Facebook?


grand canyonstaring

A small screen out-seduces the Grand Canyon

The nature of screens will change.


What now requires a screen may one day require no screen, but this ever expanding connection to all humans, all information, is irreversible.

The author

The author seeks balance by staring at a tree.

In the third grade I combed my hair like Elvis. Is it still my duty to keep up? Do I have a societal obligation, as well as a personal one, to remain current?

It can be a lot of work but I think that the answer is yes.

Now let’s go out there and provoke each other.


Short Little War

For a war to have any chance of succeeding, the citizenry must be sold on its efficacy. But should wars that need to be sold ever be started? As Superpower Team USA—which is what we have become since WWII—we rarely fight wars of necessity but instead fight wars based upon theory. These theories must be sold. Example theories:

• Communism is monolithic. (Viet Nam)

• Getting rid of the evil dictator will solve the problem. (Iraq)

• Democracy (voting) is a cure all. (Entire Middle East)

• Everybody wants our system.

One of the main selling points for many of our wars is their purported brevity. Because of our overwhelming force, this will be over in no time, says the leader. The reality seems to be that you don’t really get over war. Our own civil war, which ended 150 years ago, still seems to be chugging along. The rebel flag still flies in many parts of the South.

Wars are not short. But they are lucrative. According to a 2012 study by Deloitte, the U.S. aerospace and defense industries employ over a million workers and pay about double the average national salary. They generated $324 billion in revenue in 2010. According to the Council on Foreign Relations study, our U.S. military spending hovers around $700 billion annually. Our country spends close to 40% of the world’s total military expenditure. With numbers like these, an endless series of short little wars seems inevitable.

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Truck Drivin’ Astronaut

I learned to play guitar so that I could write songs about whatever I fancied.

The first televised moon landing impressed me as it did millions.

Walking On The Moon

This event inspired my first song, Truck Drivin’ Astronaut. It’s written from the viewpoint of an astronaut who drives a truck and drinks beer back on earth.

A few years after I wrote the tune, my friend Jim Vaughn came through town. He was working for a fire retardant company and had a wonderful protective suit. Looked like something an astronaut might wear.

Jim addressing the 2nd grade class at Wakarusa Valley Elementary school.

Jim addressing the 2nd grade class at Wakarusa Valley Elementary school.


Jim graciously gave me the suit before he left town for his next adventure.

Sometime in the early 1980s, both the suit and the song were covered by Randy Mason for his hit TV show, Bringin’ It All Back Home, on Sunflower Cablevision in Lawrence, Kansas.

Randy Mason and Rusty Laushman on the job with me in the silver suit.

Randy Mason and Rusty Laushman on the job with me in the silver suit.


photo by Jim Jewel


photo by Jim Jewel

photo by Jim Jewel

photo by Jim Jewel

The Barking Geckos performed the tune a few times in Lawrence, Kansas between 1975-1982.

Waltzing across the stage.

Waltzing across the stage at a Geckos concert..

I finally recorded the song in my office, about 25 years after I wrote it. Here ’tis:

World Lit Only By Fire

During the European middle ages, science, religion and alchemy all seemed to exist on about the same plane. A pervasive intellectual funk settled upon the land. A Dark Ages world filled with crazy notions, superstitious beliefs and cruelty.

(In our present age, there are still demonstrations of medieval behavior and thought—even in the U.S. Congress—but that is a different subject.)

When I read a review of William Manchester’s “World Lit Only By Fire” I knew that it was a must-read for me: Civilization snatched from the brink of collapse by poets, thinkers, explorers and enlightened souls. And great description of what took place during the darkest centuries.


Two songs of mine are especially pertinent for this era.

The first, “World Lit Only By Fire” was inspired by Manchester’s book of the same title.

The second song, “Waiting for the Renaissance,” was written prior to the book’s publication and may have evolved from my own frustration with a society that is yet too filled with narrow minds.

Suburban Dad

All day at the office he dreamed about getting home, changing clothes and mowing the lawn. The smell of fresh cut grass. The feeling of accomplishment that you could see with your own eyes.

His co-worker, Larry, asked him what he was going to do this evening after work.

“I’m going to mow, Larry,” he offered, with a gaze toward middle distance. “And what are you going to do, Larry?” Like he gave a shit.

““My Norway Maple tree is dropping helicopter seeds like crazy,” said Larry.  “I’m going to clean the helicopters from my gutters.”

Our hero goes home and finds that he needs to go to the hardware store to pick up some village lawn stickers for tomorrow’s pickup.

“Hi, honey. What’s for dinner? I’m going to Ace then I’m going to mow.”

“I’m leaving the house for a pack of smokes and never coming back,” she joked.

But she was serious.

The next night he went to his kid’s game and spilled the beans to some other suburban dads about his wife not returning home. They went out to a sports bar for a beer and watched the game out of one eye while our hero told his story in more detail.

“I never even got to mow the grass.”

They ordered another round of Miller Lites. He would mow tomorrow. And get out the leaf blower afterward. Then water everything real good.

(song from a live performance by Under The Kitchen. 4-14-07)

She Stoops To Conquer

Much of what I create has a Limey sensibility—at least it amuses my English cousins. She Stoops To Conquer is a farcical British play of manners written in the 18th century by Oliver Goldsmith. After attending a performance of the play at London’s National Theater, I was inspired to write a song using the same catchy title. Literature and history are great sources for songwriting.

Disclaimer: I did not attempt to mimic the plot of the play but instead made an attempt at  capturing a feminine archetype. This song has not been previewed by any members of the National Theater Company but they are welcome to do so.

No doubt the song could have used a lute but because there was not a lute in his house, Geoff DeMuth provided mandolin accompaniment. He also engineered. 

I’m A Germ

The flue season of early 2013 has been big news but will be soon forgotten. For now, there are endless warnings of how to avoid germs. The only solution seems to be to avoid people. NBC’s Dr. Nancy Snyderman tells us that we should all stay at least 6 feet apart from each other until April.

Nancy Snyderman

“Get away from me!” warns Dr. Nancy Snyderman.

Fact Alert: Microbiology pioneer, Antonie Philips van Leeuwenhoek, is generally credited with being the first human to see germs using his 17th century microscope.  (He reportedly became romantically involved with several germs.)

Antoine van Leeuwenhoek

Antoine van Leeuwenhoek

But what about germs? They have lives too. And they enjoy a good frolic. And once you get to know them, they’re a lot like we are. They just want a good piece of cheese.

Illustration by Plastic Crimewave

Illustration by Plastic Crimewave

Have a listen to the song below. From the collection, My Mailman Has a Tail.

(copr. R. Bain, 2010)

Yes Man From Yesco

One of the more annoying personalities on the planet is the yes man.

illustration by Plastic Crimewave

This creature lacks imagination and self-respect. Riddled with the fear of what others might think of his ideas—especially the boss—he cowers behind a torrent of “yes-es.” He doesn’t want to rock the boat. And he definitely doesn’t wish to steer the boat. He just wants to remain in the good graces of the captain.

(A creature who is more annoying—even despicable—is the leader who surrounds him or her self with yes-spouting sycophants.)

In the workplace and the marketplace of ideas, a balance must be achieved between the notion that you are always right and the notion that your opinion is not worthy. Many unworthy opinions reach fruition. And many brilliant ideas remain caged within the minds of the timid.

Play this tune for your boss or co-workers. If you are the boss, share it with the board. Make a Powerpoint. If you’re simply bored, play it for thyself.